Harobed

Is it challenging to say the words  “I’m afraid”?  You’re not alone.  After 20 years of competing as an athlete and excelling in corporate I learned that saying the words “I’m afraid” unleashes power not weakness.  Of course I’m not suggesting making some public declaration in inappropriate places but more about what damage not admitting fear to yourself can do in relationships and the outcomes in your life when attempting to cover it up and pretend it does not exist.  Awareness coupled with acknowledgement creates an incredible opportunity to move forward with complete clarity.

I am a firm believer http://harobedinc.com/blog/harobeds-newsletter-blog-insights-of-discovery-clarity-to-reach-your-potential/# in respecting the power of words.  Biblical principles tell us that you become what you speak and out of the mouth flows the beliefs of the heart, so we must take control over our negative thoughts and speaking patterns to create the reality and life we desire.  And…. just because we believe something is true does not make it true so every day it is critically important to know what things and situations in our lives are triggers keeping us from being the person and having the success we want.  Admitting fear when it comes to our movement forward is “a game changer”. You cannot change what you don’t acknowledge.

Fear is an immobilizer and while I cannot say I have arrived, I can certainly say that I have left the building.  The ability to become introspective enough through prayer and a very close circle of spiritual and life mentors and advisors has been the true catalyst in my development – it is a life long process.  It takes time to work the muscle that helps you to zero in on “the real fears” underneath that are holding back progress in any area of life.  In fact so many believe that digging that deep causes more pain than simply living life on the surface -that is a myth many believe and completely untrue.  On the other side of identifying where “I’m afraid” is the tremendous clarity of living a powerful, purposeful and laser-focused life that gives courage for so many to become brave and do the same.

Today, I thought I would share a little bit of a personal life leadership lesson that can perhaps be used to translate personally or professionally in your own leadership journey.

A few weekends ago I was spending time with a few very good friends in Atlanta. While I was there I managed to visit a few of my favorite spots.

On Saturday, as I made my way around the city, I went to a local restaurant and drove around for about 40 minutes looking for a parking spot.  I was so frustrated yet I had experienced such blessing spending time reconnecting with such amazing and loyal friends I think I was simultaneously being replenished with new hope, energy, and patience. I had no idea that in only 15 minutes all that would be tested unexpectedly.

Finally after getting a parking spot, I went into the building to pick up our food and began making my way back to the parking lot.  I returned back to my car with a heightened sense of awareness.  I noticed that there were now about 10 -15 cars doing what I had just been doing – driving around looking for a parking spot.

I remembered when I was driving around looking for a parking spot how people were literally trying to steal someone else’s spot that had been waiting longer.  I even remembered seeing people’s angry expressions as if they wanted to jump out of the car and fight the person that took their spot.

I kept walking to my parking spot and saw a man come up the parking aisle my car was in and I noticed at that moment no other cars were near him so I motioned for him to follow me to my car.   Suddenly, other cars out of nowhere started speeding up to beat him and take the spot I was holding for him.  But when they came I slowed down walking to give the man I saw a chance to catch up to me.

Finally, he pulled in the spot I saved for him, I pulled out and started on my way BUT right as I was leaving another car came out of a spot, didn’t see me, didn’t hear me blowing, never looked in his rearview mirror and literally backed his car right into the front end mine. (http://www.harobedinc.com/contactus.html#) SERIOUSLY!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME.  For a split second I felt the anger and upset bubble up inside my throat.

As I began to get out of my car the driver and his passenger got out of their car came over to mine and I noticed the look of horror on their faces.  Before I could even think the words came out of my mouth “it’s okay”.  I looked at my car and saw practically no damage a tiny scratch (almost unseen to the eye) and I said, “Look – life is too short.  It’s okay.  Don’t worry it’s just a car.  I know there’s really no damage but let’s just walk away and spend today grateful for the small things.”  The lady and man hugged me as if I had done something great.  They said thank you miss. I hugged them back and we parted ways.

Now remember the guy I saved the parking spot for?  He and his passenger were now walking past me as I got back into my car.  He stopped me and said.  “I saw the whole thing.  And as I saw him back into you I thought No Lord! Not her not her of all people how is that possible”! I smiled and he said of all people that would happened to why you?  You are so nice.  The nicest person I have met in a long time.  He said, there should be more people like you.  I didn’t really know what to say so I just smiled.

When I pulled off, my heart still beating fast.  I said.  “Lord why did that happen to me.  And in a still quiet whisper inside I heard “It was test”! I wanted to see if you could stay calm amidst the storm and remain kind.  (www.harobedinc.com)

“The Architecture of Leadership”

So often we think of leadership in the context of Executives and Managing and Supervising people. Yet, it is so much more…The concept of leadership runs broad and deep into the lifeline of people, their lives and the lives of the people surrounding them. You know why?

Because leadership has to do with guiding and directing and influencing of others – and like anything, there are paths we can take that end up being productive bearing great fruit and their are paths we can take that contribute to us bearing “not so good fruit”. I find in my consults, coaching and speaking (http://www.harobedinc.com/deborah-jackson.html#.UKkzmIXgKt8so) many don’t really stop to ask which road they really want to take and what result they really want to get……..READ MORE (http://harobedinc.com/blog/harobeds-newsletter-blog-insights-of-discovery-clarity-to-reach-your-potential/#)

Someone once said, “you can have it all”. What does that mean anyway? Can you really have it all in the first place? How do we define “it all” and do we really want “it all”? Is that what we really really want?

We have become so widespread in our thinking that sometimes I think we have bought into the perspective that says the more we pursue and acquire the better the chances are of us being successful. Perhaps we have even adopted the belief that multi-tasking and navigating 10 visions is a far greater measure of revenue than the focus and commitment to one. According to an article I read this week in Inc. Magazine and according to my own life experience, this way of thinking could be a huge turn toward disappointment and burnout ultimately sabotaging excellence in the 1 area you may be purposed to thrive in.

Consider this:
What if what we really want is JUST 1 thing and that 1 thing is being masked and covered up by the noise from outside telling us we really need 5 – 10 things.
I’m not at all suggesting for example, that we can’t strive for both personal and professional visions to come to fruition in a prominent way. But I am raising food for thought that perhaps we should carefully examine our own inner motives for why we are pursuing the things we claim to “want and need”.(http://www.harobedinc.com/about-us.html#.UKMFzaVh55g)

So often we don’t even realize that the deep yearning in our hearts is NOT coming from a communication to us from “God” as to what we should be pursuing but a deep void from within ourselves we are attempting to “SELF-FULFILL” with the significance of yet another venture, another task, another relationship, another job, another city, another marriage, another something. Quite frankly, another anything to self-medicate and not do the work that helps us “Be Ready” and “Positioned” to know EXACTLY WHAT AND HOW TO PURSUE THE PRIMARY TARGET.

The challenge is that by not being clear we actually water down our 1 true purpose and rob the world of receiving from us the one thing they can only get from us and no one else. (www.harobedinc.com)

Today I was reminded that everything that happens to us is really intended for a greater purpose.  But in order to see, hear and receive the lesson we must “allow” ourselves to be transformed.  The bad news is it often times hurts; the good news is when we “allow it” it lasts forever.  So how do we allow?  Choose to say “yes”.  Choose to say yes to the struggle, the heartbreak, the uncertainties and the seeming failures that make it all seem so grim.

We must be willing to “surrender” and accept the disappointments, surprises and challenges that happen in our lives because without them we will likely never be able to cross over to a place of understanding.  With understanding comes the awareness that all that has happened to you is really “for you”.  This, my friends is a transformative life-lesson.  Whatever difficulty life has brought to you was in essence intended to “free you”.  Believe me when I tell you, I have not been immune from this lesson about life – in fact, I’m still learning and growing (http://www.harobedinc.com/deborah-jackson.html#.UJLkQbRwZ5g)

While disappointment and pain can have more than 1 purpose, I am of the mindset that its ultimate purpose is to build character, perseverance, courage and integrity.  Remember what was said. Character is the actual tree.  Reputation is merely the shadow of the tree. What we need and should desire is what is real to sustain us and not what is an image to the world.  Fame and surface pursuits cannot truly fill the secret spaces in your life – they only pretend to.  And when we realize all we were fighting, kicking, screaming and robbing for didn’t really give us what we really wanted and needed then we will have to learn the lesson all over again.

If you are really ready to make that big leap in your life, career, responsibility from being a talker to a doer you must be “willing” to get this.  As long as we have breathe in our bodies; as long as we’ve been blessed with our eyes opening one more morning, we are gifted with the responsibility of persevering to the next moment and bringing with us the wisdom, teaching, and lessons of yesterday. To learn more about how to live and lead others purposefully visit us at: http://www.harobedinc.com/about-us.html#.UJLlrrRwZ5g

This weekend I was blessed enough to be a witness to my own past.  A very dear friend – and I don’t use the term loosely, came to visit me from Birmingham, AL.  While she came to bless my company Harobed (www.harobedinc.com) with a live testimonial of how her career and life were transformed when I coached she and her team a number of years ago, she found out that her visit was in turn a boomerang blessing right back to me personally.  What a gift, to bask in the beauty of sincere, loving faithful friends that know the very essence of who you are.  What an even greater blessing for the gift to span over decades and to be alive to see it in the written story of your own life.

It consistently amazes me as Harobed continues to grow and interact with leaders of all ages, colors, backgrounds and careers over the country, the profound necessity of insight to be capable of not only receiving the blessings of life but seeing them along with the patterns of blessing that follow.

Hundreds and hundreds of men and women have come to me over the years for 1:1 coaching and guidance counseling and yet everyday I am aware of how incredibly critical it is to have the right tools to be able to identify healthy like-minded people, in order to build healthy enduring professional and personal relationships.  I find so often that it’s almost a losing battle for many to truly enjoy and receive God’s greatest blessings because there has been a breakdown in the foundation that enables one to differentiate from what is pure love and gifting versus what is broken misguided love and selfish gifting.

There is a profound difference not only in the packaging, but also in the intent and the result.  The great news is that from a life coaching perspective when people are open to ‘do the work” to look into the mirror of their inner “selves”, when people are tired enough of being broken and nurturing the wrong unhealthy patterns and pathology of their relationships and choices they can become courageous and powerful in their thinking to “reinvent” their lives and relationships and “renew” their minds to step into even greater manifestations of blessing and success in every area. Our generation behind us so desperately needs us to be accountable and whole so they can be as well. In the business world I’ve heard it said “chiefs hang with chiefs”.  In the personal realm “wholeness breeds wholeness”

To learn more about Harobed’s and Deborah’s 1:1 “By Referral Only Life Coaching Experience” Visit http://www.harobedinc.com/contactus.html#

This last month has been jam packed for Harobed as she continues to build and grow into the Marketplace.  As President, I learn everyday what it takes and will continue to take for her to become the recognized Brand and Resource she is intended to be in the world.  Commitment, Laser-Focus, & Execution of the Proper Sales & Marketing Strategies with impeccable timing which also means development of a keen ability to tap into my gut and intuition for decision-making.

Over the past few weeks I think all of us have spent time relishing in the amazing accomplishments of so many fine athletes competing in the Olympics.  We’ve experienced many emotions watching our USA compete – awe, excitement, inspiration and motivation.  Perhaps with it even a push to get up and take action toward accomplishing a goal of our own – professionally or personally.  Watching the results of others’ sacrifices and years of training to compete and win is like a virus to inspire us to do it as well.

The challenge is when we finish watching others and their victories we must pick up our own lives and careers to execute without the motivation of the Olympians.   I began to think what a great time to share an “absolute truth” to help others begin to set a foundation for how to go about experiencing your own road to “Olympic Victory”.

Whether it’s your career and a quest to know which direction to take upward or your life and how to make the next defining move to freedom it all starts with a decision and that decision has to come from a mindset of winning and not losing. Champions have many things in common but one thing that is at the top of the list is “Championship Thinking.”  When asked how she remained focus to control her nerves under pressure Gabrielle Douglas responded, “I meditate day and night on scriptures in the bible.” The point I make is this, first you make a decision, then followed by the decision has to be a reconstruction and reconfiguration of the mind.  It doesn’t happen on it’s own.  We have to train it.

So when you show up for your next endeavor or as you plot out the strategy for your next move on the checker board of life remember before you just jump right in that having longevity and sustained performance so you can perform under pressure with consistency requires your mind to be filled with truth, powerful positive thinking and wisdom which are all like food for the body to develop a winners way of thinking  – “A Championship Mindset.”

As Harobed, Inc. continues to spread its wings and take flight across the United States,
 this past week I did some serious reflection amidst meeting business contacts, sharing our mission and gaining voice through social media’s twitter (@harobedinc), Facebook (www.facebook.com/HarobedInc), Linked In (http://www.linkedin.com/pub/deborah-jackson-bcc/14/b48/92b) and Google/YouTube (google harobedtube) on how much people at their core are truly yearning for purpose and value in what they do for a living and how they execute it.

This all became so potent to me as I began receiving over 100 comments within 1 week after posting a question for discussion on Linked In’s, Executive Suite Group “How Would You Advise A President That May Be Conflicted About Making An Organizational Decision Against His/Her Core and Moral Values?”  All I can say now, a week later is WOW! As the discussion has exceeded over 150 comments.

Interesting enough last week my blog about Courage also received tons of positive commentary, yet now even with a more business-focused topic occurring on Linked In the comments are equally as compelling and overwhelmingly geared towards the importance of NOT straying away from your core personal or moral values no matter what your role or what an Organization could be asking of you.  I have lived through upholding this kind of personal standard and while I did not waiver the reality is that it too required much courage and leadership.  While their are many “shades of grey” in situations such as this, there is one thing that remains pretty black and white at the end of the day,  “will your business decision align with your personal compass – yes or no.   It is powerful to read how many Executives do hold very closely to a desire to stand firm in their values.  Life wisdom teaches us if we live long enough that compartmentalizing business in order to manage situations affecting human beings may work yet often times only for a limited period of time. How long depends on the individual.  Eventually the two collide.  So I leave you with 5 pearls to help you maintain clarity, courage, conviction through challenging crossroads and decisions you may face as a leader of people.

1. Know your core values.  Values are different than beliefs.  Believing something doesn’t make it true. What you value however is what you hold as “your truth”

2.   Set clear boundaries for yourself.  Communicate them to appropriately. Things you may be willing to do, say and things you may not before you walk into a new…(promotion, career, relationship, etc). While you can’t control others you have full control over your own choices.

3.  Do your research.  While there are never any guarantees in life professionally or personally and things do change, it’s empowering to educate yourself as much as possible on your roles, responsibilities

4. Listen to your gut.  We all have an inner compass learn how to tap into and trust yours

5. Properly Align Your Significance To The Bigger Picture:  “An organization will always keep things moving forward after losing a great leader but many a great leaders can not keep it moving forward after violating their own value-system on behalf of an organization”.

From the business and corporate world to more personal life experiences I count everything as blessing.  (www.facebook.com/HarobedInc.) And that it was to hear the “wise and powerful” speaker and writer Maya Angelou starting with The Women Who Lead Luncheon at the Westin Hotel in Charlotte and finishing with the Evening Gala at The Foundation of the Carolina’s – magnificent!  Though in a wheelchair, I assure you losing none of her potency and authority in the power of her “spoken word.

While my business often stems from the boardroom helping coaches, trainers, managers of people and key leaders navigate challenges and sharpen their skills; it still intertwines with the art form of navigating interpersonal relationships and life issues.  I have learned over the years that whether in the business world or not the characteristics of Leadership spread well beyond 1 dimension.  How affirming, to hear Ms. Maya Angelou articulate her thoughts on the importance of “Courage” which also happens to be one of Harobed’s 1st C’s of Leadership. This is not at all a personal comparison to the great Maya Angelou, but assuredly a shared parallel about Courage’s significance as foundation to consistency and leadership. (http://www.harobedinc.com/leadership.html#.T-pZgI7R38t).

I leave you with a few takeaways from Ms. Angelou and myself as President and CEO of Harobed, Inc. (www.harobedinc.com) in hopes both with serve you well:

Ms. Angelou:  Focuses on all women and the importance of courage as consistency in carrying out any other virtue.

• Ø Become an advocate, support and ally not only for you but others
• Ø Teach other women and the generation of those behind you; let them see us being courageous
• Ø Without “Courage” you cannot practice any other virtue (kindness, fairness, generosity) consistently.
• Ø Develop courage by starting with small elements (i.e. not staying in a room where someone is being called out of their name or verbally disrespected).

Harobed’s 2nd C ~ Courage: Focuses on aspects of Leadership and being in a position of influence and authority over others for yourself or an organization.

Courage is the ability to make decisions or act (based on individual or organizational value or objective) amidst fear, disapproval or potentially negative consequences; unafraid to demand excellence, driven to deliver on commitments

1)   Willing to make challenging decisions no matter the cost

2)   Making stable-minded life/business decisions

3)   Prioritizing people and customer value

4)   Instilling passion in others

5)   Desiring excellence over mediocrity

Though some might say this is really not relevant to us in the business world, I would have to greatly disagree after 20 plus successful years as an only on so many fronts where “courage sustained me.”  What are your battles in the boardroom and your personal life – do you need a dose of courage? You can find and cultivate it.

Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality, which guarantees all others.  Winston Churchill

This week I was blessed with an opportunity that encouraged me while stressing the importance of Harobed’s vision to encourage others.  Over 20 years I’ve coached, trained and spoken to many, I was invited to join Klarque Garrison on his Radio Show “the conversation” out of Atlanta, GA.  It was time to brave another 1st – Radio.  Amidst all the marketing and promoting as my company Harobed, Inc. rapidly takes it’s wings to serve the world, I received so many supportive emails, phone calls, texts, and Facebook messages (www.facebook.com/HarobedInc.) all encouraging me before and after the interview.  What a gift! The encouragement and well wishes were so appreciated.  And while as a coach-trainer it’s definitely important to take a step back and critique myself on how I can continue to be a sharp vessel, it was so clear to me how consistently this all aligned with Harobed’s mission and purpose to help others by remaining honest, yet kind, and thought-full in being an encouragement to help others move toward the inspiration and accomplishments of more of “their firsts”

I began to think about some challenges many face in starting “anew”, reinventing, or simply attempting to move forward on multiple fronts – how? Where do I start?  Well…interestingly enough the forward movement journey in your professional or personal life is like learning how to play a new sport – it’s always about the fundamentals. And so I share with you 5 practical solutions that are not complicated but “priceless”.

1.  Be Fearless! – About the pursuit of clarity and execution of your personal and professional endeavors.

2.  Be Focused! – Perceptively insightful and deep thinking about the needs of others.  Think before you speak.

3.  Know Yourself! – So you can exert your energy “doing you” not someone else.  Life is short don’t minimize the importance of self-awareness.

4.  Be a Good Listener! – So you can be your most effective for others and yourself requires less words and more active listening.  Seeking to understand.

5.  Know Your Friends! – Once you start to take flight you may begin to see a different side to many people around you.  And wisdom says “friends – true friends” – are few and far between. With so many voices in the background – criticisms, advice, unsolicited comments etc., remain centered so you can recognize the voices you should listen to and those you may need to drown out.

At the end of the day, keep in mind this truth, “Business Lessons parallel Life Lessons” and all your experiences can teach you something quite transforming.  After all…. out of some of my most painful and unexpected experiences, Harobed, Inc. was born and given life.  And it came out of a desire for me to allow my life to be an encouragement to others. You can do the same.